Never Felt

I’ve never feared missing something.

Or someone so much until.

I felt that I lost them.

Finite

There in the clouds and in the sky you can see that,
Everything here is finite. 

The clouds move and never stay stagnant,
They must go.

The sky brightens at the start of the day,
Then it darkens at the end of the day. 

Everything is finite, 
From the most mundane to the most important.

Toast To My Mind

Toasting to the mind that I have, 
It only knows how to cause me panic,
Anxiety, and pain. 
Toasting to the death you are giving me,
Not the great job you do.

Impossible To Know

There is no way that any one can know 
If I cry - is it always sadness? 
Inpossible to know. 
I say. I am always happy. 
These tears scream JOY, even if it comes out in pain.

Make it Me

Watch me light her up. 
Put the torch to it. 
Warm it up pass the burn. 
Have it close to me. 
And when I breath I make it, me. 
Within me it creates clouds. 
Those that people say yuck to. 
Those of which I enjoy. 
Because in the exhale it takes it all. 
The stress and anxiety. 
Nothing better than this smoke.

Today

There is - No way!
This is destined to be this way. 
To look at it differently is to lose reality. 
For this is what’s already here. 
And thinking of what it was or could be. 
Is a thought on the mind of a person with fear. 
Take it for the solidness that it holds. 
For your thoughts are hallow wishing to be known.
And only you will feed it your time. 
Who knows them, but you. 
This is what it’s supposed to be. 
Deal with this first and never what you wanted it to be. 
Nothing stands still and ever so slightly everything moves.

Tough Fight

Hair super messy. 
As if the wind has been waving.
Though she’s in the room - not outside. 
She’s panting with exhaustion. 
Definitely, she’s been working hard. 
She’s disoriented. 
She’s definitely excited. 
Though happiness doesn’t seem to be it. 
There’s something. 
The wind is not there for the hair. 
The air is not there for the hugs. 
The panting is not from sitting. 
She’s been fighting. 
Against the suctions of my mind. 
Trying to bring me back. 

-Ruptes

Oldies to Read

  • My Eyes Closed
    A poem I wrote back in 2013 after some tough times. I have found it saved on my iCloud and figured it will make it my first post.
  • From the Outside
    Mykonos, Greece
  • Child’s Play
    Liberty Science Center Jersey City, New Jersey
  • Drowing in an Ocean
    This is a poem based on a difficult time in my life in early 2018. I can’t quite remember what the issue was, but it got me to write this poem. It means I was impacted.
  • Dishonesty
    Nothing is more bothersome and in some cases painful than feeling like […]

Many A Ways

There are many a ways 
To get somewhere 
But the somewhere
Is always the same.

Failed Toast

Spill over
All of it spilled over
Nothing remained for the toast
I never made it there to toast
I lied all the way there
Never got over
I was still stuck back there
This moment here
The reality
Of me still back there.

Yellow Light

The sun so bright.
Yet the darkness is so deep.
There is no shine.
Everything is a dark pit.
Drowning out all light.
Even though the sun is so bright.
A yellow dot in a dark sky.
There is really no light.
The darkness outshines the light.

It Knows

In the same place.
Where it once stood.
There it was again.

The dark shadowy blur.
It was still there and never left.
It has waited patiently.

Now I am back here again.
It knew that I would return.
Eventually.

I am only able to go as far.

It knows.