Never Felt

I’ve never feared missing something.

Or someone so much until.

I felt that I lost them.


I need to know.

What it feels like?

What it is that I feel like?

What it is that you make me feel like?

What it is that the situations make me feel like?

What drowning feels like?

Wanting to scream and water fills your lungs.

Wanting to cry but the water washes the tears away.

Wanting to express something in anyway.

But the water, and the drowning only allows for panics.

It doesn’t express any other emotions.

Drowning is the equivalent of my anxiety.

For I will drown and die first before I can express where my mind and emotions are.

And you will only see my panic.

Everyone Thinks I am Crazy

Running across the room
for the fear of being trapped in
is very much so, the difference from when a child
for the walls are moving in quickly
even after it started slowly
the windows are closed shut
and covered in black
the doorway narrows
everything becomes more eerie
and nothing ever looks the same
the room from brightly lit
to the darkest pit you’ll ever encounter
dashing for you life
to avoid being crushed by the walls
this is daily living in my mind
for everyone thinks i am crazy
but my mind is the only one that believes me
for it lives the abuse with me

The Numbers

The noise, that can be heard.

When silence is around you.

It may just be some lines.

It may just be of any color.

And it definitely may be smaller than you in size.

Those are all for sure.

But what it represents.

The pain.

The loneliness.

The fear.

The real reality.

Those lines, in silence scream louder than the loudest noise.

Those lines, those numbers, are really real.

The battle field can be heard when you listen.

Closed in and Collapsing

Closed in and collapsing.

There is nothing else in this place.

There is pressure that by any means will escape.

There’s the moment of doom.

Those of which you hope not, but still wait for.

That at any moment this world becomes unfair.

And you call in all areas for help.

And in all places you scream and no one hears.

There’s real pain inside.

Your mind and your heart is in pain, but it’s all a lie.

Gasp though, deep airs, strong will against the sudden need.

Tears flow, and for real there’s really no foe.

Just you.